Agnes Allen's Law: Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.
All generalisations are false, including this one.
Benchley's Law of Distinction: There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't.
Boob's Law: You always find something in the last place you look.
Cahn's Axiom: When all else fails, read the instructions.
Farnsdick's Corollary to the Fifth Corollary: After things have gone from bad to worse, the cycle will repeat itself.
First Law of Bicycling: No matter which way you ride, it's uphill and against the wind.
Gerrold's Laws of Infernal Dynamics:
1. An object in motion will be heading in the wrong direction.
2. An object at rest will be in the wrong place.
Goldenstern's Rules:
1. Always hire a rich attorney.
2. Never buy from a rich salesman.
Gordon's First Law: If a project is not worth doing at all, it's not worth doing well.
If you hit two keys on the typewriter, the one you don't want hits the paper.
If you want to drown yourself, make sure the water is deep enough.
Iron Law of Distribution: Them that has, gets.
Velilind's Laws of Experimentation:
1. If reproducibility may be a problem, conduct the test only once.
2. If a straight line fit is required, obtain only two data points.
If all apears to be going well, you must've overlooked something.
If the odds are a million to one against something occurring, chances are 50-50 it will.
In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct, beyond all need of checking, is the mistake. Paul Dirac (1902-1984)
Osborn's Law: Constants aren't; variables won't.
Law of Cybernetic Entomology: There's always one more bug.
Mr. Cole's Axiom: The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing.
Murphy's Law is recursive. Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work.
Never insult an alligator until you have crossed the river.
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
Paul's Second Law: The sooner you fall behind, the more time you will have to catch up.
Seeger's Law: (Anything in parenthesis can be ignored.)
The Whispered Rule: People will believe anything if you whisper it.
Weiler's Law: Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
Weiner's Law of Libraries: There are no answers, only cross references.
When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.
Ninety-Ninety Rule of Project Schedules: The first ninety percent of the task takes ninety percent of the time, and the last ten percent takes the other ninety percent.
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take Hofstadter's Law into account.
Cheops' Law: Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
Amand's Law of Management: Everyone is always someplace else.
Rule of Defactualization: Information deteriorates upward through bureaucracies.